Euphoria and intoxication

1.33L walking away after the last final and initial celebrations:


The room is spinning...and I'm not even in a room! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!

Political Realities

Actually overheard in the hallway:

The truth is, I'm not electable. I just have problems with democracy.

If Elvis was a 1L...

He might have written Blue Christmas a little differently:

[imagine your favorite elivs impersonator crooning]


I'll have a tort-free christmas without school
I'll have no reading for crim or for civ pro
Doesn’t matter if contracts, are drafted air tight
Don’t need to worry, if mens rea is right


There are no bluebook citations while skiing
No need to outline while gingerbread eating
And i think, i just might, watch TV every night
Cuz, I’ll have a tort-free christmas


Sonia might still need help with due process
And TSA feels a lot like a tresspass
But, jurisdiction’s a fight, so don’t miss your home flight.
And, we’ll all have a tort free christmas

Final Approach

A little shout out to my fellow 1Ls, mired deep in first-round final exam anxieties:




You guys are the most brilliant people I've met!

Gems from Torts

Student comments during a product's liability discussion:

Given this rule, I have a hard time understanding why q-tips are still being sold.

If you don't know what a stroke is... how do you know you don't want one?

Smells Like Procedural Spirit

CP prof., basking in the glory of his own hypo/problem case:


It's like a potpourri of civil procedure!

Deflection at Its Finest

1L responding to a cold call and explaining a liability rational...


Prof, in that typically quizzical way: And you are persuaded by that argument?


1L: Ummmm....as long as there are no follow up questions...Yes.

Tortinator or Trend Setter?

On aesthetic nuisance:

1L: Well, I mean, one day's eyesore is the next day's sweet new trend.

Prof: Clearly, I've been a trendsetter for years

Ah, rivalries

Tort prof, defining a trick legal term by use of example:

I mean, brothels are a nuisance everywhere you find them... except in Nevada ...and Berkley

Or was that Egg Drop?

Tort Prof in class...


Well, its defined as willful and wonton... whatever that is... I think it's a soup.

Tradition and Diversity

So, one of the great benefits of SLS is the opportunity to interact with classmates who have a wide array of pre-law-school life experience. A recent moment in CrimLaw highlights how this factor adds to the depth of a standard class discussion:

1L, formerly a Naval Officer, discussing Dudley v. Stevens:

1L: Well, traditionally, you eat the cabin boy. That’s kind of the point to HAVING a cabin boy... [But,] eating the cabin boy always bothered me a little bit. . . 

Crim Prof: Well, you would hope so.

1L: I mean, you know, you have to think about these things... 


[a few moments later]


1L: Well, from what I understand, this case essentially, ended the tradition of eating cabin boys.

Why Guatemala?

1L discussing Winter course selection:

I think I’m going to lottery into negotiation...that would give me the skills I need to negotiate, say, the handover of Guatemala . . . to me.

Free Sonia G.

1L during a late-night Sonia G. brief writing session:

Alternatively, if she doesn’t fit, you can’t acquit.

-courtesy of the ethical jedi muppet (you kinda had to be there)

Overheard at SLS

in Torts, while speculating on whose fault the accident was:


Maybe it was our proverbial hobo!?!

...maybe!

But which Rules?

This morning, I sat in CivPro and my prof emphatically declared:

When in doubt read The Rules. When in doubt invoke The Rules.

Perhaps it was the discussion on dating I'd had the night before, but my mind conjured the following image:

Which begs the question: If the judge calls to schedule a hearing for the following morning, should you just tell them you already have plans with another judge and s/he'll just have to schedule earlier if s/he wants to make it onto your rather full social schedule? I mean, do you really want to appear too needy or desperate for a court appearance? Just sayin...

Blame Sonia for the Lack of Interesting Posts

but, here's a little gem from onion's past to make up for my general lack of blogging this week:

Year Of Law School Now Mandatory For Nation's 25-Year-Olds

MARCH 11, 2009 | ISSUE 45•11

WASHINGTON—Under the provisions of a bill approved by Congress and signed into law Tuesday, every 25-year-old American, regardless of prior life commitments, is now legally obligated to enroll in a full year of study at one of the nation's accredited law schools. "This new measure gives us the means to compel 25-year-olds to simultaneously placate their parents, impress their friends with complex-sounding legal jargon, and effectively avoid any real-world responsibilities for another full year," said Rep. Steve Buyer (R-IN). "We can think of no better way for our young people to squander their postcollegiate aimlessness." Congress is reportedly seeking further legislation that would provide for an additional nine months of grumbling over LSAT prep, and up to five years of whining about paying off student loan debt.

Overheard at SLS

Intra-Mungerite Dialogue, aka, what kinda logical super arguments do SLS's have off the clock?:

"So Ginsburg's dissent in Exxon was all about interpreting 1367 narrowly to avoid granting supplemental jurisdiction to plaintiffs who didn't meet the amount-in-controversy requirement?"

"Yes."

"But wait, what's wrong with letting them bring suit...?"

"Nothin; she was trippin."

Overheard at SLS

The common room is quiet as we review assumption of the risk, causation, etc. then, to the tune of Shots feat. Lil Jon:

"Torts torts, torts torts torts, torts torts, torts torts torts"

-submitted by Annon Wunnelle

School Pride

I bet you didn't know, that the SLS webpage has a very important feature,
just in case you need extra help bragging to your out-of-state friends in January...

Keeping up with the JDs

If you, like me, find yourself occasionally intimidated by all of the ridiculously smart people in law school, but lack the fortitude to put any effort into upping your game (i mean, seriously, isn't doing a "preponderance" of your class reading enough of a battle!?!) ...a few very helpful suggestions:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Ask a Correspondent - Sounding Smart
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Rally to Restore Sanity

Whiteboard Adventures

Whitebord + Law Students = Pandasharka

Artistic Credit
Michael Feldman (writer), Caroline Jackson (Illustrator), Sara Rowe (Mittens)

Ah, sweet, sweet naiveté

Here's to hanging on to idealism as long as possible...(and, to our first contest submission!)




-Thanks, Paco!

We're Just Sayin', DK...

SLS LOL would like to announce its full endorsement of the "Free Coffee for Law Students" campaign.*


An excerpt from a 1L email discussion highlights one of the most compelling arguments voiced to date: 


Why, with free coffee available from Coupa Cafe (at least for now) and 50 cent coffee available at the bookstore, is the best deal on coffee regularly available for students within the hallowed hall of SLS $1.55?

At Harvard (used here as a contrasted peer, clearly not as a superior example) a dean fought to get free coffee for all law students and was successful.  That dean now sits on the US Supreme Court. 


   I am tired of seeing classmates run to get bookstore coffee between morning classes and worse, missing time spent together in the Law Lounge discussing brilliant legal things, because the economically prudent decision is to get coffee outside the law school.
   If there is Justice to be found in law school (arguably no) then the coffee situation at SLS would be changed.



We, here at SLS LOL, Strongly Agree!


*The the Free Coffee campaign provides no direct benefit to the editorial board of SLS LOL who do not actually drink coffee (Go Diet Coke!). The SLS LOL endorsement is based solely on the recognition and commitment to defending the fundamental, unalienable Right to Caffeine that is granted to all law students by virtue of their station.  

Great Moments in Legal Writing

SLS LOL Salutes Judge Kent! Republic of Bolivia v. Philip Morris Co., Inc.,  Civil Action No. G-99-110 (March 1, 1999)(Kent, J.).      Plaintiff, the Republic of Bolivia, brings this action to recover from numerous tobacco companies various health care costs it allegedly incurred in treating illnesses its residents suffered as a result of tobacco use.   This action was originally filed in the District Court of Brazoria County, Texas, 239th Judicial District, and removed to this Court on February 19, 1999, by certain Defendants alleging jurisdiction under28 U.S.C. Section 1331 and 28 U.S.C. Section 1332.  For the following reasons, the Court exercises its authority and discretion pursuant to 28 U.S.C. Section 1404(a) tosua sponte transfer this case to the United States District Court for the District of Columbia.      This is one of at least six similar actions brought by foreign governments in various courts throughout the United States.   The governments of Guatemala, Panama, Nicaragua, Thailand, Venezuela, and Bolivia have filed suit in the geographically diverse locales of Washington, D.C., Puerto Rico, Texas, Louisiana, and Florida, in both state and federal courts.   Why none of these countries seems to have a court system their own governments have confidence in is a mystery to this Court.   Moreover, given the tremendous number of United States jurisdictions encompassing fascinating and exotic places, the Court can hardly imagine why the Republic of Bolivia elected to file suit in the veritable hinterlands of Brazoria County, Texas.   The Court seriously doubts whether Brazoria County has ever seen a live Bolivian … even on the Discovery Channel.   Though only here by removal, this humble Court by the sea is certainly flattered by what must be the worldwide renown of rural Texas courts for dispensing justice with unparalleled fairness and alacrity, apparently in common discussion even on the mountain peaks of Bolivia!  Still, the Court would be remiss in accepting an obligation for which it truly does not have the necessary resources.   Only one judge presides in the Galveston Division–which currently has before it over seven hundred cases and annual civil filings exceeding such number–and that judge is presently burdened with a significant personal situation which diminishes its ability to always give the attention it would like to all of its daunting docket obligations, despite genuinely heroic efforts to do so.   And, while Galveston is indeed an international seaport, the capacity of this Court to address the complex and sophisticated issues of international law and foreign relations presented by this case is dwarfed by that of its esteemed colleagues in the District of Columbia who deftly address such awesome tasks as a matter of course.   Indeed, this Court, while doing its very best to address the more prosaic matters routinely before it, cannot think of a Bench better versed and more capable of handling precisely this type of case, which requires a high level of expertise in international matters.   In fact, proceedings brought by the Republic of Guatemala are currently well underway in that Court in a related action, and there is a request now before the Judicial Panel on Multidistrict Litigation to transfer to the United States District Court for the District of Columbia all six tobacco actions brought by foreign governments, ostensibly for consolidated treatment.   Such a Bench, well-populated with genuinely renowned intellects, can certainly better bear and share the burden of multidistrict litigation than this single judge division, where the judge moves his lips when he reads….      Regardless of, and having nothing to do with, the outcome of Defendants’ request for transfer and consolidation, it is the Court’s opinion that the District of Columbia, located in this Nation’s capital, is a much more logical venue for the parties and witnesses in this action because, among other things, Plaintiff has an embassy in Washington, D.C., and thus a physical presence and governmental representatives there, whereas there isn’t even a Bolivian restaurant anywhere near here!   Although the jurisdiction of this Court boasts no similar foreign offices, a somewhat dated globe is within its possession. While the Court does not therefrom profess to understand all of the political subtleties of the geographical transmogrifications ongoing in Eastern Europe, the Court is virtually certain that Bolivia is not within the four counties over which this Court presides, even though the words Bolivia and Brazoria are a lot alike and caused some real, initial confusion until the Court conferred with its law clerks.   Thus, it is readily apparent, even from an outdated globe such as that possessed by this Court, that Bolivia, a hemisphere away, ain’t in south-central Texas, and that, at the very least, the District of Columbia is a  more appropriate venue (though Bolivia isn’t located there either). Furthermore, as this Judicial District bears no significant relationship to any of the matters at issue, and the judge of this Court simply loves cigars, the Plaintiff can be expected to suffer neither harm nor prejudice by a transfer to Washington, D.C., a Bench better able to rise to the smoky challenges presented by this case, despite the alleged and historic presence there of countless "smoke-filled" rooms.  Consequently, pursuant to 28 U.S.C. Section 1404(a), for the convenience of parties and witnesses, and in the interest of justice, this case is hereby transferred to the United States District Court for the District of Columbia. IT IS SO ORDERED.

SLS LOL Palo Alto Memorial Celebrity Laughter Awareness Pro-Am Laugh-a-thon for the Cure

**WIN $10**

As a socially concious blog, SLS LOL would like to raise AWARENESS of itself (cuz, raising awarenss is always the utmost goal of any humanitarian effort). 

In a blatant effort to increase blog readership, participation, and general comedic impact,  SLS LOL will be offering REWARDS for blog participation during the next two weeks. 

SLS LOL will award five $10 (cash money!) prizes - one to the best (funniest/most original/creative) submission in each of the following categories:

1) Overheard at SLS - quotes overheard in the hallways, classrooms, and courtyards of SLS

2) Original Submission - original article, essay or musing highlighting life of law students, SLS or related topics

3) Non-original Submission - jokes, link to news items, videos, posts from other blogs or sources, or other submissions of non-original work.

4) Images of SLS - Photo, video or other pictures that capture iconic, ironic, or amusing snippets of the life we lead (please ask folks if you can use pictures you took of them so no one gets upset). 

5) Word of the Month Usage - Quote and short blurb explaining how you used the Word of the Month in a class, assignment or other public forum.

The Fine Print: 

Submissions must be sent to SLSLOLBlog@gmail.com with the words  "CONTEST SUBMISSION" and the submission category in the subject line. 

Submissions must be received no later than Oct 31, 2010, 11:59:59 PST. 

Submissions must be legally available to post without cost (i.e., free of copyright, trademark or other IP restrictions) and become the property of the SLS LOL blog.  

Winners will be selected by the SLS LOL Editor-In-Chief and announced via post on www.slslol.blogspot.com after Nov. 1, 2010.

Tortious Musings

Has there ever been a case involving a fire, sparked by a passing train, that led to the damage and/or sinking of a boat? . . . just wondering

Overheard at SLS

CivPro Professor recapping a discussion:


Those are the applicable situations. I've given them to you in text form. I've given them to you in diagrammatic form. You better know 'em.


... Aren't you glad you're in law school? You too, can lose all ability to use anything but complex, polysyllabic diction in 3 mind-numbingly painful years! :-)

Overheard at SLS

Crim law professor, noting the oddity of aggravating factors in California homicide law:


We [California] have the longest list of aggravating factors for criminal homicide...many of which appear to be written by a team of comedy writers

Overheard at SLS

Prof, during CivPro Lecture:


So, the real lesson of Erie is. . . [Writing on the whiteboard in huge letters]...LAW PROFESSORS MATTER!!!

Um, duh...

For those legal hopefuls out there, you might appreciate knowing that (according to the Model Penal Code),


"Homicide constitutes negligent homicide when it is committed negligently."

This reminds me of something I read in a federal regulation in my pre-law school life:

"Manufactured goods are those which are not unmanufactured."

...good to know!

Overheard at SLS

Prof, introducing a tort case:


We have a plaintiff who contracted lead poisoning from eating the paint off her walls....that's always a temptation.

Upward Mobility

Gotta Love the Library

BINGO!

For those of you who are struggling to maintain focus in class, perhaps a little game will entice your mental commitment to learning. I'll leave the logistics of implementation to you, but hope this card set will be of use ;-)

            

DOWNLOAD 6-Card Set in PDF

Overheard at SLS

Crim Law Prof on the British prohibition against encompassing the death of the Sovereign.


Almost every day, I encompass queen elizabeth's death...Thank God I live here!

T2 - Grading Day

Hats off to SPILF & Prof. Sykes! (and Jake, for making sure the legend lives on!)

Word of the Month - October

To encourage greater participation, and to minimize the impact of my weekend laziness, the Word of the Week will evolve into a Word of the Month....

October's Word is

Goblin

gob·lin 

[gob-lin]

–noun

a grotesque sprite or elf that is mischievous or malicious towardpeople.

Origin: 
1300–50;  ME gobelin  < MF < MHG kobold  goblin; see kobold

Word of the Month Rules & Procedures

1) A word will be posted each month.

2) Any and all SLS students are encouraged to use this word in an actual class comment or written assignment. (for our non-student readers, conversations, work meetings, and other contexts are fair as long as its intrinsically funny.)

3) Variants, such as adverb forms of a noun, are also free game.

4) Email a description of your achievement (context & quote) to  slslolblog@gmail.com for inclusion in the next WOTM Report (may include recommendations on achievement level).

4) Your level of achievement will be assessed using the following scale:

• Bronze: Word is used as a restatement of facts, somewhat randomly or out of context; however, valiant effort has been made for inclusion and/or comedic effect (e.g., "Well, according to Walker v Birmingham, and my coffee filter, that rule is out-dated.").

• Sliver: Word is used in an example, metaphore or analogy (e.g., The three-pronged rule in this case seems to act as a coffee filter for judicial interpretation."

• Gold: Word is used in such a way as to add substantive or legal weight to an argument. (e.g., "But it is precisly the coffee filter that allows for this interpretation.")