Law Professor On Parenting:
"I told him not to. I sent him to his room. In the days of corporeal punishment, I corporeally punished him..."
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
How Not to Succeed in Law School (an excerpt)
For those who need help procrastinating, you really should check out the full essay, written by a graduate of Bolt who went on to teach law. But, for those who have already committed their procrastination budgets to YouTube videos involving talking pets, here are a couple a short snippet of silliness for your consideration.
Should YOU go to Law School?
Would you like to help the less fortunate?
Would you like to see liberty and justice for all?
Do you want to vindicate the rights of the oppressed?
If so, you should join the peace Corps. the last thing you should do is attend law school.
People basically hate lawyers, and with good reason. That's why you'll rarely escape from a dinner party without hearing at least one lawyer joke. . . . It is true that some lawyers are dishonest, arrogant, greedy, venal, amoral, ruthless buckets of toxic slime. On the other hand, it is unfair to judge the entire profession by a few hundred thousand bad apples. In fact, there are many perfectly legitimate reasons for going to law school. For example, ask yourself the following questions:
Do I want to go to medical school but can't stand the sight of blood? Are my inlaws pestering me to death to do something meaningful (i.e., lucrative) with my life? Have I considered circulating petitions to ban inlaws, but realized that it would only spawn stupid bumper stickers saying "WHEN INLAWS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE INLAWS"? Did I major in English and have absolutely nowhere else to turn?
If these questions ring a bell, you might fell that law school is for you. Lie down for a while until the feeling goes away. If it doesn't go away, prepare yourself for the consequences. For example, your grandparents will immediately
...
[from section entitled, "The First Year"]
Remember those horror movies in which somebody wearing a hockey mask terrorizes people at a summer camp and slowly and carefully slashes them all into bloody little pieces? That's what the first year of law school is like. Except it's worse, because the professors doesn't wear hockey masks, and you have to look directly at their faces.
At first, it's not so bad. You get to read a semi-interesgting medieval case in which somebody says, "forsooth, were it not that Birnam WOod had come to Dunsinane, I would unseam thee from the nave to the chaps." but the honeymoon ends when you have to go to your first class. The professor has a black belt in an ancient martial art called " the Socratic method." After the professor completely dismantles a student for sheer sort and humiliates several dozen others, he then points out forty-seven different things in the two paragraph case that you failed to see and still don't understand. You leave class hoping that maybe there is still a job opening at your brother-in-law's toothpick recycling factory.
--Here's hoping everybody's first day went well and not spawned any significant regret!
Should YOU go to Law School?
Would you like to help the less fortunate?
Would you like to see liberty and justice for all?
Do you want to vindicate the rights of the oppressed?
If so, you should join the peace Corps. the last thing you should do is attend law school.
People basically hate lawyers, and with good reason. That's why you'll rarely escape from a dinner party without hearing at least one lawyer joke. . . . It is true that some lawyers are dishonest, arrogant, greedy, venal, amoral, ruthless buckets of toxic slime. On the other hand, it is unfair to judge the entire profession by a few hundred thousand bad apples. In fact, there are many perfectly legitimate reasons for going to law school. For example, ask yourself the following questions:
Do I want to go to medical school but can't stand the sight of blood? Are my inlaws pestering me to death to do something meaningful (i.e., lucrative) with my life? Have I considered circulating petitions to ban inlaws, but realized that it would only spawn stupid bumper stickers saying "WHEN INLAWS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE INLAWS"? Did I major in English and have absolutely nowhere else to turn?
If these questions ring a bell, you might fell that law school is for you. Lie down for a while until the feeling goes away. If it doesn't go away, prepare yourself for the consequences. For example, your grandparents will immediately
...
[from section entitled, "The First Year"]
Remember those horror movies in which somebody wearing a hockey mask terrorizes people at a summer camp and slowly and carefully slashes them all into bloody little pieces? That's what the first year of law school is like. Except it's worse, because the professors doesn't wear hockey masks, and you have to look directly at their faces.
At first, it's not so bad. You get to read a semi-interesgting medieval case in which somebody says, "forsooth, were it not that Birnam WOod had come to Dunsinane, I would unseam thee from the nave to the chaps." but the honeymoon ends when you have to go to your first class. The professor has a black belt in an ancient martial art called " the Socratic method." After the professor completely dismantles a student for sheer sort and humiliates several dozen others, he then points out forty-seven different things in the two paragraph case that you failed to see and still don't understand. You leave class hoping that maybe there is still a job opening at your brother-in-law's toothpick recycling factory.
--Here's hoping everybody's first day went well and not spawned any significant regret!
Word of the Week: Spatula
For our first feature, we introduce Word of the Week.
This week's word is
SPATULA
—Related forms
The rules and process are as follows:
1) A word will be posted each week (ideally, by Sunday evening, assuming my internet doesn't hate me)
2) Any and all SLS students are encouraged to use this word in an actual class comment or written assignment. Variants, such as adverb forms of a noun, etc. are also free game.
3) Participants should post a short comment to this posting quoting their use and describing its context
4) Participants and/or commentors may indicate the level of achivement using the following scale:
This week's word is
SPATULA
spat·u·la
[spach-uh-luh]–noun
an implement with a broad, flat, usually flexible blade, used forblending foods or removing them from cooking utensils, mixingdrugs, spreading plasters and paints, etc.
—Related forms
spat·u·lar, adjective
The rules and process are as follows:
1) A word will be posted each week (ideally, by Sunday evening, assuming my internet doesn't hate me)
2) Any and all SLS students are encouraged to use this word in an actual class comment or written assignment. Variants, such as adverb forms of a noun, etc. are also free game.
3) Participants should post a short comment to this posting quoting their use and describing its context
4) Participants and/or commentors may indicate the level of achivement using the following scale:
- Bronze: Word is used as a restatement of facts, somewhat randomly or out of context; however, valiant effort has been made for inclusion and/or comedic effect (e.g., "Well, according to Walker v Birmingham, and my coffee filter, that rule is out-dated.").
- Sliver: Word is used in an example, metaphore or analogy (e.g., The three-pronged rule in this case seems to act as a coffee filter for judicial interpretation."
- Gold: Word is used in such a way as to add substantive or legal weight to an argument. (e.g., "But it is precisly the coffee filter that allows for this interpretation.")
Friday, August 27, 2010
Legal Laughter
This blog celebrates all that is funny about life at SLS. I invite you, my compatriots in legal education, to contribute and participate in the frivolity and silliness that ensues.
Rules of Engagement/Comments:
1) Be nice - poking light fun is fine, but don't say something to or about someone you wouldn't say to their face.
2) No Ranting - Save the airing of grievances for Festivus, unless you can do so in such a manner as your wit and humor far outweigh your rancor.
3) Contributions, guest bloggers and co-author's welcome. If you want to contribute a post, suggest ideas for posts or become a regular blogger, give us a hollar.
4) No grammar nazi's - Seriously, I really donn't car if they're are tie-pos, kids.
What will you find here?
In addition to your standard musings, we'll strive to have a few regular features, including but certainly not limited to. . .
Overheard at SLS: Law students say the strangest things. Send in the funny, strange, awkward, or odd quotes heard in the hallways/classrooms/offices of SLS.
Word of the Week Contest: Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to use the selected word in a legal assignment or during a substantive class comment. Then, post your quote as a comment and compete for the most creative/comical usage.
Lawyer Jokes: Send/post the good, the bad, and the cheesy.
Law School Bloopers and Awards for Excellent (Comedy, that is): Awards and recognition for making law school funnier and more enjoyable. Submit your nominations!
4) No grammar nazi's - Seriously, I really donn't car if they're are tie-pos, kids.
What will you find here?
In addition to your standard musings, we'll strive to have a few regular features, including but certainly not limited to. . .
Overheard at SLS: Law students say the strangest things. Send in the funny, strange, awkward, or odd quotes heard in the hallways/classrooms/offices of SLS.
Word of the Week Contest: Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to use the selected word in a legal assignment or during a substantive class comment. Then, post your quote as a comment and compete for the most creative/comical usage.
Lawyer Jokes: Send/post the good, the bad, and the cheesy.
Law School Bloopers and Awards for Excellent (Comedy, that is): Awards and recognition for making law school funnier and more enjoyable. Submit your nominations!
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