RUUUUUUDDDDDY'S

Best. Caption. Ever.

"This is what I would imagine the world would look like to a baby Rhino, if it was born during a law school party. A collection of smiles, a couple alarmed faces, and me screaming my ass off."

Photo Credit to WF via FB. Caption courtesy of the always entertaining KD.

Procrastastic Poetry

2L FB status: 

Evidence, my dear,
the prospects are quite bleak:
though I would read you, I fear
you just fall too late in the week

Color Me Legal

We here at SLS LOL realize that sometimes you just need to step away from the crazy. We know that the interwebs are filled will all sorts of digital time wasters, but just in case you feel like kickin' it old school style and bustin' out some high-quality analogue distractions, might we recommend using that free unlimited printing in the library to run yourself off a copy of the

Coloring Book For Lawyers 

where you'll find gems like these:

THIS IS ME. I am a lawyer. Lawyers are important.
They go to important offices and do important things.
Color my underpants important

THIS IS MY TELEPHONE. It has five buttons.
Count them. One, two, three, four, five. Five buttons.
How many buttons does your phone have? Mine has five.

THIS IS THE SENIOR PARTNER. He hates me. He calls me bad names,
but he gives me lots of raises. My wife calls him "papa".

And, if you're super cool, you'll trek back up to the teaming room, scan your completed masterpiece and send it on over to SLS LOL. We'd love to post your creations!

*Special Thanks to Lil' Bro E for hooking me up with this retro-taskic link!

  

Colloquial Douchebaggery

JD/PhD 2L on douchebags:

"I think the bluebook is the height of colloquial douchebaggery."

You Know It's Finals Time When. . .

You're canned food is now alphabetized and you've decided its high time you dust and vacuum your vacuum.

What's YOUR favorite way to procrastinate?

Keeping up with the JDs

If you, like me, find yourself occasionally intimidated by all of the ridiculously smart people in law school, but lack the fortitude to put any effort into upping your game (i mean, seriously, isn't doing a "preponderance" of your class reading enough of a battle!?!) ...a few very helpful suggestions:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Ask a Correspondent - Sounding Smart
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Rally to Restore Sanity

Here's to the overachievers....

at all those OTHER schools, of COURSE! ;-)

How Not to Succeed in Law School (an excerpt)

For those who need help procrastinating, you really should check out the full essay, written by a graduate of Bolt who went on to teach law. But, for those who have already committed their procrastination budgets to YouTube videos involving talking pets, here are a couple a short snippet of silliness for your consideration.  


Should YOU go to Law School?


Would you like to help the less fortunate?
Would you like to see liberty and justice for all?
Do you want to vindicate the rights of the oppressed?
If so, you should join the peace Corps. the last thing you should do is attend law school.


People basically hate lawyers, and with good reason. That's why you'll rarely escape from a dinner party without hearing at least one lawyer joke. . . . It is true that some lawyers are dishonest, arrogant, greedy, venal, amoral, ruthless buckets of toxic slime. On the other hand, it is unfair to judge the entire profession by a few hundred thousand bad apples. In fact, there are many perfectly legitimate reasons for going to law school. For example, ask yourself the following questions:


Do I want to go to medical school but can't stand the sight of blood? Are my inlaws pestering me to death to do something meaningful (i.e., lucrative) with my life? Have I considered circulating petitions to ban inlaws, but realized that it would only spawn stupid bumper stickers saying "WHEN INLAWS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE INLAWS"? Did I major in English and have absolutely nowhere else to turn?


If these questions ring a bell, you might fell that law school is for you. Lie down for a while until the feeling goes away. If it doesn't go away, prepare yourself for the consequences. For example, your grandparents will immediately
...


[from section entitled, "The First Year"]


Remember those horror movies in which somebody wearing a hockey mask terrorizes people at a summer camp and slowly and carefully slashes them all into bloody little pieces? That's what the first year of law school is like. Except it's worse, because the professors doesn't wear hockey masks, and you have to look directly at their faces.


At first, it's not so bad. You get to read a semi-interesgting medieval case in which somebody says, "forsooth, were it not that Birnam WOod had come to Dunsinane, I would unseam thee from the nave to the chaps." but the honeymoon ends when you have to go to your first class. The professor has a black belt in an ancient martial art called " the Socratic method." After the professor completely dismantles a student for sheer sort and humiliates several dozen others, he then points out forty-seven different things in the two paragraph case that you failed to see and still don't understand. You leave class hoping that maybe there is still a job opening at your brother-in-law's toothpick recycling factory.


--Here's hoping everybody's first day went well and not spawned any significant regret!