Thursday, July 28, 2011

Metaphorically Speaking

Who says legaleese is stuffy?



And such news of an amicable settlement having made this Court happier than a tick on a fat dog because it is otherwise busier than a one legged cat in a sand box and, quite frankly, would have rather jumped naked off a twelve foot step ladder into a five gallon bucket of porcupines then have presided over a two week trial of the herein dispute, a trial which no doubt would have made the jury more confused than a hungry baby in a topless bar and made the parties and their attorneys madder than mosquitoes in a mannequin factory; it is therefore ordered and adjudged b the court as follows: 1. The jury trial scheduled herein for July 13, 2011 is hereby canceled.

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