Overheard at SLS

Students responding to a torts hypo:

Student #1: Either my heart or my stomach tells me no. . .

Professor: Interesting that those are the two organs in play here. . .

Student # 2: Well, my liver tells me its because [they] are in a pecuniary relationship.

Professor: Well, my large intestine tells me you're almost right.

Overheard at SLS

Criminal law professor while discussing attempted bank robbery:

I always wanted to try a stocking on my face! It just always seemed like it was a look!

Overheard at SLS

Professor, introducing the class discussion topic:

Specifically, we'll be dealing with Res Ipsa Loquiture, which means, "the thing speaks for itself". . .which could generally be said of Rush Limbaugh.

Comedic Honors!

And the award for 

Outstanding Comedic Achievement via Listserv 

goes to . . .

Jordan S.

Jordan, SLS LOL Salutes You!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

___________

From: Jordan S.

Date: September 16, 2010 11:12:08 AM PDT

To: law-talk@lists.stanford.edu

Subject: Re: Ayn Rand's Objectivist Ethics

I commend your undoubtedly conscious selection of the 146th anniversary of the founding of the International Workingmen's Association, when many of your would-be critics will be somberly rereading the Grundrisse, to engage in what I'm sure will be a very robust dialogue amongst your supporters. I will be sure to organize Slavoj Zizek to speak on Alan Greenspan's birthday.

Word of the Week - Sept 20-24

THIS WEEK'S WORD IS 
Waffle

waf·fle [wof-uhl]

–noun

1. a batter cake with a pattern of deep indentations on eachside, formed by the gridlike design on each of the twohinged parts of the metal appliance (waffle iron)  in whichthe cake is baked.

2. waffling language.

–adjective

3. Also, waffled. having a gridlike or indented lattice shape ordesign: a waffle pattern 

–verb (used without object)

4. to speak or write equivocally: to waffle on an important issue.

5. to talk foolishly or without purpose; idle away time talking.

–verb (used with object)

4. to speak or write equivocally about: to waffle a campaign promise.

Origin:

1735–45;  < D wafel

1890–95;  1890–95;  orig. dial. (Scots, N England): to wave about, flutter, waver, be hesitant

1695–1705;  orig. dial. (N England); appar. waff  to bark, yelp(imit.)

Word of the Week Rules & Procedures

1) A word will be posted each week (ideally, by Sunday evening, assuming my internet and CivPro reading doesn't hate me)

2) Any and all SLS students are encouraged to use this word in an actual class comment or written assignment. Variants, such as adverb forms of a noun, etc. are also free game.

3) Participants should email a description of their achievement (context & quote) to slslolblog@gmail.com for inclusion in the next week's WOTW Report (may include recommendations on achievement level).

4) Participants and/or commentors may indicate the level of achivement using the following scale:

• Bronze: Word is used as a restatement of facts, somewhat randomly or out of context; however, valiant effort has been made for inclusion and/or comedic effect (e.g., "Well, according to Walker v Birmingham, and my coffee filter, that rule is out-dated.").

• Sliver: Word is used in an example, metaphore or analogy (e.g., The three-pronged rule in this case seems to act as a coffee filter for judicial interpretation."

• Gold: Word is used in such a way as to add substantive or legal weight to an argument. (e.g., "But it is precisly the coffee filter that allows for this interpretation.")

What's the difference between a lawyer and . . .

. . .a  vulture? 
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles. 

. . . God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer. 

. . . a trampoline? 
You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline! 

. . .a boxing referee? 

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight. 

. . . a sperm cell? 
At least the sperm has a 1 in 600 million chance at becoming a human being. 

. . .a gigolo? 
A gigolo only screws one person at a time. 

. . .a vampire? A vampire only sucks blood at night. 

. . . a tick?
The tick drops off after you're dead. 

Faculty Follies

Professor, reaching for cell phone as the lyrical strains of an acoustic rock guitar fills the room:

 Oh, sorry....well, you see...wait, what were we talking about? ....No cell phones in class.

...kinda makes up for that cold calling...kinda.

Aren't You Glad You're Already Here?

Law Schools Now Require Applicants To Honestly State Whether They Want To Go To Law School

SEPTEMBER 15, 2010 | ISSUE 46•37

NEW YORK—A growing number of law schools have begun requiring applicants to specify in writing whether they do, in fact, have some desire to attend law school, or are just using it as a predictable last resort. "We want to separate those who actually see themselves becoming attorneys from those who just want to put off joining the adult world for another three years," Fordham Law School director Bruce Green said Thursday, showing reporters an application that asks students to check boxes marked "Really?" and "Seriously? You're really that into this?" "We want prospective students to know that they will actually have to study the U.S. legal system. As in, the whole thing." Word of the new requirement has already reportedly caused a 450 percent spike nationwide in applications to graphic design schools.

Thanks, Onion & Jeff: http://www.theonion.com/articles/law-schools-now-require-applicants-to-honestly-sta,18089/

Here's to the overachievers....

at all those OTHER schools, of COURSE! ;-)

Overheard at SLS

Professor, responding to student comment:

That's actually a slightly confusing statement because, well, its wrong.

Overheard at SLS

1L leaving Torts:


I always knew law didn't have all the answers. I just didn't realize there were SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Intentional Infliction of Emotional Levity via Self-Effacing Hypotheticals (aka Lawyer Jokes)

A truck driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride.

A while down the road the truck driver saw a lawyer on the side of the road. He turned the truck on a direct course with the lawyer. However, remembering that a priest was in the truck with him, he swerved at the last moment to miss the lawyer.

However, the truck driver heard a loud thump outside of the truck, and he looked in his rear-view mirror.

He turned to the priest and said "Sorry Father, I just missed that lawyer at the side of the road."

The priest said, "Don't worry son, I got him with my door."

WWRD?

You really have to ask yourself...



. . . what would The Reasonable Person do?


Or is it  WWRPD?: What would The Reasonably Prudent Person do?


http://www.cafepress.com/+wwrd_mug,33474883

WOTW Report

While debating the merits of Pizza Deliver Kid v. Dunder Mifflin in LRW:


Yes, but he touched the pizza with his HANDS not a SPATULA!


I'm giving myself a Silver--admittedly there is probably a touch of bronze-level randomness ;-)

Overheard at SLS

Professor responding to student comment:

"You're making the fatal intillectual mistake of exercising moral constraint."

You know you're in law school when, at dinner...

Waiter: "Are you ready to order?"

SLS student: "I think we need to deliberate a little longer..."

Overheard in the hallways: 

SLS1: "Are you guys talking about homicide?"

SLS2: "Naw; hummus."

-Thanks, Meredith W., for contributing! :-)

Intentional Infliction of Emotional Levity via Self-Effacing Hypotheticals (aka Lawyer Jokes)

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."

The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"

The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.

"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

-Contributed by Random 1L (Name withheld, by request of submitter, to protect the identity of the guilty)

Overheard at SLS

1L, after going several rounds during a cold call:


I'm done! I got nothin'!

Word of the Week - Sept 13-17

This week's word is 
CANNIBAL

can·ni·bal

  [kan-uh-buhl] 

–noun

1.

a person who eats human flesh, esp. for magical or religiouspurposes, as among certain tribal peoples.

2.

any animal that eats its own kind.

–adjective

3.

pertaining to or characteristic of a cannibal.

4.

given to cannibalism.

Origin: 
1545–55;  < Sp caníbal,  var. of caríbal,  equiv. to canib-, carib- (< Arawak) + -al -al¹ ;  from the belief that the Caribs of theWest Indies ate human flesh

—Related forms

can·ni·bal·ly, adverb

Word of the Week Rules & Procedures

1) A word will be posted each week (ideally, by Sunday evening, assuming my internet and CivPro reading doesn't hate me)

2) Any and all SLS students are encouraged to use this word in an actual class comment or written assignment. Variants, such as adverb forms of a noun, etc. are also free game.

3) Participants should email a description of their achievement (context & quote) to slslolblog@gmail.com for inclusion in the next week's WOTW Report (may include recommendations on achievement level).

4) Participants and/or commentors may indicate the level of achivement using the following scale:

• Bronze: Word is used as a restatement of facts, somewhat randomly or out of context; however, valiant effort has been made for inclusion and/or comedic effect (e.g., "Well, according to Walker v Birmingham, and my coffee filter, that rule is out-dated.").

• Sliver: Word is used in an example, metaphore or analogy (e.g., The three-pronged rule in this case seems to act as a coffee filter for judicial interpretation."

• Gold: Word is used in such a way as to add substantive or legal weight to an argument. (e.g., "But it is precisly the coffee filter that allows for this interpretation.")